Heeyyyyy, why not.

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
11. Does love = sex?
12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
22. Are you old fashioned?
23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

7:46 PM

Thinking, “I’m finally old enough for you to love me.” But I loved you last week and now it is your turn to donate your spine to my on-going game of double dutch that I play with my perfect people. I hold you dear and near in my fists clenched around your throat. I’m laughing at your jokes but my eyes are filled with your screams. So go go, be estranged as I sit and wallow in self pity, praying an intensive two hours will fix me, cure me. We’re fighting the inviting: oncoming traffic, overpasses, and golden, brick, bridges. We think and we understand, you suffer from the absence of such practices. Really all I ache to do is put down, just right, these dreams I’ve been having. To tell you the tale of the swerving headlights, icy or wet roads, and the water as it suffocates me. Luminous translucent hands reaching, gripping around my throat and down into my esophagus, creating a pit of silence. Strangled.  

I can see the bridge in the distance, calmly approaching as I glide into the right hand lane. Windshield wipers thrash viciously, pushing the water to the side, allowing me to see more visibly. The car is filled with smoke as the butt flits onto my thigh, I veer left—right. I cannot locate it and fear wells within me as I look to the papers scattered across the seats, floors. Thin black ink, short lines, paragraphs, crumpled and thrown away. Never good enough. I see one light, I am mesmerized by how quickly they all catch. I look up to the road and momentarily I can take in how the road looks, caked in black ice, as the railing approaches my headlights. The guitar riffs float to my ears, muffling the sound of screeching tires. Can I graduate? In slow motion the lights fade away and the asphalt cannot save me. The nose tips over the edge and leisurely approaches the ink stained liquid. The wild fire is the least of my worries, the car is breaking through the calm surface and all at once I’m thrust into real time. The car rapidly fills with murky water, the flame ceases, and my vision goes blank.

The words are never quite right, the vision never quite clear, and the dreams are lost in the unconscious parts of my mind that words cannot grasp onto. I am lost.

Either way, this world
has picked me enough times for the madness vase
for me to know sanity is not
running from the window
when the lightning comes.
It’s turning the thunder into grace,
knowing sometimes the break in your heart
is like the hole in the flute.
Sometimes it’s the place
where the music comes through

Source: Andrea Gibson, Gospel Salt (via christies27)

(Source: hobosheek)