February 2010
I’m just this young, odd girl who wants to love and care for everyone. I never want to do wrong by anyone, I want to make everyone happy. I want to make all the pretty girls smile, And I want to love and be there for my “friends” Even if they aren’t so good, and aren’t good people, I still want to love and care for them.
I’m just a young insecure girl who...
January 2010
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Oh oh, this is what you do to me. You’ve got your hands tied through and through me. You’ve got a hold on me, You’ve been wrapped around, injected, and sew right into my heart. And forever there you will stay, because you were the first and the last. No other girl will ever get a hold of me like you have.
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I got into the shower this morning, and let the water pound hot onto my back, as I slide down the wall, and cried, and cried, until the water turned cold and I had cried myself dry.
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And I’m hanging here, from this little piece of thread. And I’m wondering if, I’m ever going to see you again. and I know it’s only been one whole week, but it’s also been one whole week since you decided that you don’t know why you love me. And the days have gone by, And the I love yous have stopped, and I feel I have lost all hope. I feel as if I’ll...
Dear you,
I’ve been told that you’re an asshole, a complete douchebag, you’re probably just testing me and I should let you go. My brain is agreeing, asking me why I would want to be with someone who isn’t really that attracted to me but my heart is telling me something different. I don’t care what everyone is saying, I don’t care what my brain is telling me. I...
I wish I would have known that would be the last time I would ever kiss you, ever hug you, ever hold you in my arms. Last time I would ever be close enough to smell your shampoo. Maybe I would have held on a little bit longer, a little bit tighter. Would have kissed you deeper, more. Maybe I wouldn’t have let you go. Maybe I could have done something that would have changed your mind....
1 tag
Patience and love. I’ll sit here and wait, while you contemplate, your feelings for me. Because I’d hate to lose someone so great.
Anyone else would have left you the second you said I don’t know when I asked you what you like about me, or why you’re with me.
Stop running in and out of my life. Stay here this time, I can’t live without you. I need you. Like I need air to breathe.
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It’s not like I just lost my girlfriend, but I lost my bestfriend too. My heart has been completely shattered, thrown to the floor like a glass cup. I’m empty. All I am is little sharp shards of glass on the floor. I’ll cut you if you get too close.
I’m not stable, I’m a mess. I’m not okay, Get me weed. I can’t be sober for this.
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Live your life the way you want to, because in the end the ones who try and stop you from it, aren’t going to be there. You live your life the way you think you should, no matter what anyone else thinks. No teacher, no friend, no parent, no cop, no government official should stop you from living your life the way you want. Because in the end the only one who it really matters to and...
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Have you ever noticed that there aren’t many genuine people in the world anymore?
No one really cares about anyone else, No one pays attention to anyone else but themselves.
I’m opening up my eyes, I’m noticing that I don’t want to be this way and I’m not going to be.
I’m giving up and starting new. I’m finding new genuine people, and moving on with...
1 tag
Did you know that every time you leave me you take my heart with you?
And every time you leave me I feel like I can’t breathe, because you are my air. And there’s this emptyness inside me, that only you can fill.
And did you know that you complete me?
This is how I love.
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I wish I could rid myself of this ache in my chest. These thoughts racing in my head, the images in my mind, the blackness behind my eyes. This fear growing in the pit of my stomach.
And the voice telling me to stop, hold back, don’t say that, don’t do that, don’t be this way. CHANGE. CHANGE. CHANGE.
But I don’t want to change. I want to be me. I want to be gay,...
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The way you smell used to make me feel so safe, so at home, like nothing could ever go wrong. Now it just surrounds me. It attacks my body, it fills my lungs with toxic fumes, and makes me want to rip my insides out.
It makes me wanna scream, “What happened to you?!” It makes me sick to my stomach, makes me see how much everything has changed, how much you’ve changed....
I try to help but you tell me to leave you alone. So I say okay, and go on my way. Then I send you pictures over myspace, Pictures that say things like; “I like being yours.” and “You are my heaven on earth.” With a little ‘I’m sorry’ at the end, hoping you’ll feel better later and won’t be mad that I sent you those pictures.
This is how I...
1. Coca Cola, Pepsi, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper? 2. Cats, dogs, horses, lizards, or hamsters? 3. TV, cinema, computer, iPod, gaming console? 4. Rock, rap, pop, metal, or punk? 5. Black, white, blue, red, or green? 6. Salad, hamburger, ice cream, chips, fruit? 7. Kindergarten, elementary, junior high, high school, college? 8. United States, Canada, Australia, France, England, or Ireland?...
1 tag
I’m addicted to you. You’ve made me an addict yet again. I’m addicted to every little thing about you.
The way your hair hangs in my face, the way your lips press perfectly to mine, the way you laugh, the way you smile, the way your hands touch my face,
and play with my hair constantly. I’m addicted and every day I go without you, I’m going through withdrawal....
2 tags
I was born a girl. Given a girl name. I wasn’t born a boy. But I have a boyish nickname. I feel like I am neither boy or girl. I’ve never felt like a boy or girl.
I’m not a boy trapped in a girl’s body, nor am I just an androgynous girl. I am gender queer? I like having my vagina, and I like girls only. I could do without my boobs but they don’t bother me either. I...
“I have come out so many times in my life. I have come out gay to my friends, my family, and complete strangers. I have come out trans to myself and then re-thought what that meant and decided I didn’t have the strength or courageousness for that path of life. I have come out queer and gender-neutral, androgynous and unisexual. I have come out gay and lesbian. I have declared myself butch...
Goals:
Loose some weight
Learn to skateboard
Get better at bass
Be myself
More to come?
1 tag
Temptation. Temptation. Temptation. It’s a terrible thing. She’s always there, you’re never around. It’s not that I don’t love you it’s just the temptation. She’s so close, so there, always willing to talk. Always has something to say. I never see you, So she temps me. With her lips and her body and the closeness. I can resist. resist. resist. resist....
Pull up a chair, Grab a drink. I need something not to make me think.
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Jerked forward. Heart thrown to the front of your chest. Convinced it’s going to jump right out, beating so rapidly, that it might just go through the windsheild, all before you ever do. Life flashing before your eyes, Near death. But don’t cry, You are no coward.
He needs to fucking leave, almost killed me and he gets to fucking live in my house? Not if I get a say in it.
Happy three months baby. I fucking miss you.
1 tag
Last night you spent the night in my bed, and now I’m laying here, looking at the spot where you slept. A feeling of emptiness overwhelms me, and I have this ache in my chest. I need you here now, because you are the only one who can sooth it.
This bed is so lonely without you in it, lying next to me, curled up in my arms, with your light breath dancing across my neck. I need you back in...
1 tag
“I want to make my mark change the world, with this flow But, all this doubt in my head It won’t let me go.” -Zebrahead
I don’t need to change the world but I want to make a difference in someone’s life, or just in general no matter how big or small.
I want to write book that’ll make someone feel any emotion I intend it to, take a picture that will just...
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“You’re who I want to wake up to every morning.”
– You are. You are. You are. First day of the new year and I got to wake up next to the most beautiful girl in the world, the person I love most. It can’t get any better than this. Well Hello 2010 :) 